Just today, I told Malcolm, "Stop growing!" I was kidding, of course...but a little part of me wants him to be my little boy forever.
But, of course...he won't be. He will keep growing even beyond when he reaches his full height - because we all keep growing emotionally and spiritually throughout all our lives. He will keep changing. I will keep changing. So I always find it interesting when I feel like "I've arrived" at a growth point, because it is oh so quickly that G-d reminds me that He's not done with me yet!
A very small reminder of this was last night, when I was visiting with Dan Rogers. I love meeting with Dan, because it is always simultaneously edifying and challenging. I feel better after we meet, but always leave with something to chew on.
So, last night, after some long discussions, I thanked him for his insight and shared that I really valued what he had to say. He said something complimentary to me as well, which I cannot even recall the exact wording of, because I dismissed it so quickly. I thought to myself, "Yeah right, you're just saying that to be nice." But if you know Dan, you know he doesn't just say things "to be nice." He speaks the truth, always.
This knee-jerk reaction felt unsettling, and for good reason: I haven't reacted this way to a compliment in a long time. After some reflection, I realized that my self-worth had increased, but only to a point. I am still making judgments on who I could possibly be of value to, and people like Dan Rogers are a bit outside of that "believability range."
So...what about you? I'd be curious to hear where others feel their worth "ends." And I'd encourage you to try to stop putting limits on your worth.
OK - this is Bre - I guess my profile is set up as "Vanderhorst Family" but it's me!
ReplyDeleteI am much in the same place as you, Tana. I think though, that there is immense freedom just in the realization that I have a habit of dismissing compliments. Being able to stop myself in the midst of the dismissal and say "Wait a second here....stop and listen to what this person is saying. This is good stuff." And although I don't want to identify my self worth by what others think of me, I do believe that G-d puts people in our lives (I call them G-d with skin on) to help us understand who we are in Him!
I have recently started a new habit. When someone compliments me or when I realize even on my own that I have used my gifts, talents or personality to benefit myself or someone else..I try to stop and thank G-d for the fact that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
The TRUTH is that through our Creator each of us have been created with a limitless amount of worth! Of course I recognize that I can't do everything but I also recognize that the Body of Christ cannot function at it's optimum without me!
By continuing to choose to believe what G-d says about me, I have found an abundance of joy.
I am so excited to continue on this journey...If He could take me from feeling that I have no value or worth to knowing that I have worth with no end, just imagine where He is taking me next!
Awesome thoughts Bre! Thanks for sharing!
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