Kudos for Dad

One of the great things about parenthood is that it reveals some wonderful traits about your spouse...things you never saw before.

In honor of Father's Day, I wanted to post some things about Malcolm's amazing father, my wonderful husband Don. Trust me, I already knew about the compassion and goodness in this man, but the role of Father revealed so much more.

My hope is that most women experience the same things I did in those first hours after giving birth - a man who suddenly, despite whatever level of macho he usually has, finds himself wrapped around the little finger of a tiny person. Don instantly went into caregiver mode - in fact, he got up more often in the middle of the night than I did! (Partially because it takes some serious noise to rouse me from sleep!) Bottles, burping, dirty diapers - the man did it all, and then some. In fact, there's a running joke about how he got all the "bad poop days" - including the day that Malcolm decided to take off his diaper (which was full) and use the contents to paint himself, the walls, and the crib (which, oh-so-wonderfully, had a spindle design with lots of nooks and crannies). I never came home to a mess waiting for me because it was "my job" or "too much for him to handle." I never had to fight to get him to do this stuff - he just did.

As Malcolm has gotten older, Don has just gotten better. He is my guide for discipline, rules, and love. He is indeed the authority figure (the one that can make the kid listen), yet he is not scary or overbearing. He guides Malcolm lovingly with equal parts discipline and praise. He is goofy, fun, adventurous - all the things a kid loves. And stern, loving, and guiding - all the things a kid needs.

He never makes me feel like him watching Malcolm is "babysitting" or a "favor to me." I never had to beg for time away, or a night with the girls. I am extremely grateful that I do not feel like one of those mothers who has to do everything with the "occasional help" of the father. It is truly an equal partnership - in fact, if anything, he is the harder working, more intuitive parent.

This Father's Day, I am extremely grateful that my son has such a wonderful father. Not just because it is helpful for me, but because it means so much more for my son, and how he will grow.